Loosey Goosey
Mother Goose was a little loose
Her virtue was in dispute
Not that anyone would say that to
her face
Or a nose they might lose
No, people kept quiet
when Mother was around,
but as soon as she left the room,
the gossipers went to town
They talked about her conquest
The men she loved and left behind
They talked about her openly
when she couldn’t return in kind
Not that it would have bother her
Mother Goose did not care a bit
what others thought of her
She wasn’t going to quit
Loving and leaving men
She was having too much fun,
and so far, none of the men had
complained,
not a single one
Mother figured as long as no one
was hurt
whose business was it where she lay
It wasn’t like she was killing
people
She just liked to play
Mother had a twisted sense of
morality
She didn’t care about the wives
at all
She thought if they were doing
what they should
The husbands wouldn’t come to
call
The wives thought differently
They blamed Mother for leading
their husbands astray
And, finally, a group of them got
together
and came up with a plan to make
her pay
They broke into Mother’s house
and to her dresser drawer the
stole
They found her collection of
protection
and in every one, they poked
holes
In the appropriate amount of
time,
Mother Goose started to show
No man would go near her,
None wanted to know
Who the father was
Who had stopped the play
Who had ruined the fun
Who had spoiled the day
For her part, Mother had no clue
She had slept with so many men
that when asked,
she just said, “Who knew?”
Mother, even though she was a
wanton woman,
still did not approve of abortion
so she was stuck with the
children
cooking in her oven
By the time the goslings came,
Mother was waddling to and fro
People laughed and stared
Wherever she would go
Mother hated the whispers most
She wished people would talk out
loud
If they had something to say
about her
Go ahead, be proud
Don’t whisper behind her back
Cowards, the lot of them were
It wasn’t like anything they said
would upset her
Mother, though she would never
have thought it,
was proud of her goslings
each and every one
she loved their fuzzy little
bellies and their squeaks,
Babies were fun
And the father didn’t get off Scott-free
No, it ended up not being hard to
determine
Who the father was, you see
Tom Turkey was the lucky dad
He couldn’t deny it if he tried
For no matter how blind you were
A baby goose with a waddle was
hard to hide
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