Wednesday, March 31, 2010

You can't win them all

I did two micro fiction stories for the Three Word Wednesday prompt this week. I couldn't decide which one I liked best.


Randy had a hunch his sacrifice wasn’t going to be given much consideration when Mark snapped a caustic, “Will you hurry the hell up, they’ll be home before we get done,” while sitting on top of the ledge, the impression from his boot heel permanently engraved on Randy’s head.



Shelly hunched her shoulders and rushed forward, knocking the man holding her hostage into a table holding beakers full of caustic substances. Twitching on the floor, secure in the knowledge security precautions had put the entire facility into lockdown, she watched the man jerk, blood seeping from his nose and ears as he inhaled his last breath and knew her sacrifice had been worth it.

11 comments:

Stan Ski said...

The first works best for me - it leaves us guessing what they might be up to, and wanting more.

anthonynorth said...

Two hard hitting stories, both nicely done.

Angel said...

Thanks, y'all. Stan I like the first one best too, but the other one kept coming to me also with the words, so I added it in.

ThomG said...

I like the first one as well. There's a playfulness (OK, yes, dark and playful, which I like) and it best makes my mind form the scene.

Dee Martin said...

Liked them both but the first was my fav :)

Carina said...

I want to know what happened in both of them!

Jay Thurston said...

Cool stories, I am glad you posted both of them! The first does leave more for afterthought, but the second is a great standalone assault. Well done!

on more believer said...

oh man these just roll out like jam on toast... bravo!! monster moves

Jay Thurston said...

The second one is a great small piece of action, but Stan is right, the first leave more thought about what they are doing next.

Thanks for sharing both!

Tumblewords: said...

A fence sitter, I am. I like them both but lean a bit toward the success of the second one.

Angel said...

Thank you all and I'm glad you liked both of them!