Monday, June 4, 2012

Expectations Fulfilled


Here is the writing prompt this piece was generated from:

"Write a first-person story in which you use the first-person pronoun (I or me or my) only two times - but keep the I somehow important to the narrative you're constructing. The point of this exercise is to imagine a narrator who is less interested in himself than in what he is observing. You can make your narrator someone who sees an interesting event in which he is not necessarily a participant. Or you can make him self-effacing, yet a major participant. It is very important in this exercise to make sure your reader is not surprised, forty or fifty words into the piece, to realize that this is a first person narration. Show us quickly who is observing the scene. 600 words."
 
How do y'all think I did? I've never tried this particular style before.




I knew this would be fun.

The chase had been exhilarating. Watching her run, her legs tangling with the branches, pulling her down. She didn’t stay down though, oh no, she scrambled right back up. What fun! 

Scratches mar her beautiful skin now, but that is a small price to pay for all this excitement. It’s hard to contain the pure, simple joy her screams bring. She has a lot of fight in her, that’s for sure. More than you’d think in the circumstances. Not that it matters. She can fight all she wants, but it will do no good.

That last cut was a little deep. Her cries are not as strong now. Have to remember that for next time. Oh yes, there will be a next time. This feeling is too good to resist. Best get back to enjoying it before it’s over.

***

That was messier than anticipated. It’s done now though. The fun is over. But the memories will be spectacular. 

Maybe tonight will bring dreams about that final, breathtaking moment when the last sigh escaped her lips.

Oh yes, I knew this would be fun, but never this much.

3 comments:

Amy Brantley said...

Great job! :)

Anonymous said...

Interesting. Good job. Sounds a little like a Jeffrey Deaver start-up. LOL.

Charlene

Angel said...

Thanks, y'all. Glad you liked it. I wasn't too sure about this one, but it's always good to try something new.